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Nine lives, zero respect for the offside trap.
| # | Player | G | A | Y | R | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Flaply Cabblesmuffin | DF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Fan Favourite |
| 2 | Gadgles Noodlecone | MF | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | Podcast Regular |
| 3 | Marmuit Wafflesstaff | FW | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 4 | Cosers Gravblescone | GK | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 5 | Marmorn Thundledyball | DF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Veteran |
| 6 | Pretorn Gobbgleshorn | DF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 7 | Pickuit Snickanmuffin | GK | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | Safe Hands |
| 8 | Gulgy Bristlestrain | MF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 9 | Biscoot Vandycatcher | DF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 10 | Sunly Gravdlepatch | FW | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 11 | Zepheria Crumpanhorn | DF | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Brick Wall |
| 12 | Pickzel Sprockledycuddy | MF | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | Squad player |
| 14 | Wobentine Quibanwrench | MF | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |
| 17 | Pretott Thunddlepatch | FW | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Squad player |