FOUL — “Football Oligarchy of the Unified League”

The International Super League is proud — contractually obligated, technically — to disclose that it operates as a wholly-owned subsidiary of FOUL International Holdings, a multinational conglomerate previously known for frozen concessions, artificial turf futures, and one widely-denied incident involving a stadium and a shell company.

Following what FOUL Legal describes as “a perfectly normal acquisition” of the sport of association football, every club, ground, and player named on this site is FOUL property, leased back to the public for entertainment purposes only. Kits, chants, and rivalries remain the intellectual property of their respective clubs — which are, in turn, the intellectual property of FOUL.

President Draven Voss (Draven Voss) — Founder & Self-Appointed Custodian of the Beautiful Game — acquired football in a single afternoon and has not, by his own account, watched a full ninety minutes since. He communicates with the League exclusively through memos, most of which are also, somehow, legally binding decrees.

He also insists on personally signing every League ruling as “President Draven Voss” — the bulletins in the News tab and the end-of-season decrees are his alone, issued straight from FOUL headquarters with no committee, board, or football person of any kind involved. He is not, whatever the letterhead may once have implied, the Chairman.

No Chairman has been selected for this season yet.

This is the inaugural season of FOUL’s International Division — ten clubs, six continents, one trophy. The champion will receive a prize that FOUL has declined, on eleven separate occasions, to describe. Internal correspondence obtained by absolutely no one refers to it only as “the Unknown Prize,” and once, in a memo nobody has been able to unsee, as “not technically a threat.”

🐈 Venice Gondola Cats currently top the table — a position FOUL reminds everyone “can be revoked at any time, for any reason, including weather.”